I agreed to help out because there is so little I can do for the school, being French-impaired and all, and this was language-lite. I asked when the Nice French Mom called me and guilt-ed me into doing this: "Do I have to talk? To kids?"
"Mais, non," she replied. All I had to do was glare and shush people.
The four hours consisted of kids from the school's upper grades performing musical numbers for their peers.
So the peers tend to get bored and bavarde.
That's French for blabbermouth. Isn't it a great word?
But seriously. I sat (well, actually I stood) through FOUR HOURS of
- "Boughi-Boughi Thonkie-Thonkie" (er, that's "Boogie-Boogie Tonky-Tonky")
- "Au Champs Elysées" (twice)
- "A Time for As" . . . you know, from Romeo and Juliet
- A soul-less rendition of "Hot n Cold de Katy Perry"
- A different "Boughi-Boughi"
- CHOPSTIX for God's Sake
- Some kid playing "Smoke on the Water" badly
- A passionless version of "Listen to Your Heart"
- A dreadful version of "You Are Not Alone"
- And two bands.
If the administration had any idea what those English lyrics meant, I somehow doubt they would have been allowed to perform in school. And what was up with the go-go dancer? Her already short skirt kept creeping higher and higher until, I kid you not, her cootchie was right there. I looked at the younger kids in the audience at that point. Hilarious. They were just stunned.
I had such hopes for the geeky red-headed kid with the electric guitar. I was SO sure he was gonna fire up AC/DC's "Shook me All Night Long." I was SO SURE.
Say what you will about American education, but I went to high school with some talented musicians. On my walk back to the Metro I counted off at least five classmates of mine who were concert level. A couple are professionals.
My kids, of course, were stellar. (These are my first attempts at using the "video" feature on my camera. And uploading videos. Bear with me.)
But I digress.
I got home and found I still had some of that lovely bolognaise sauce in the freezer. AND the remains of the Chunk O' Parmesan.
Which I set about grating.
Note to self: don't use the box grater. Use this thing to grate cheese:
Or you'll end up with a Knuckle Sandwich. Ew.
Yeah. That's a SpongeBob Band-Aid. I just grabbed one.
Then I applied this tried-and-true cure:
Ah! All better.