Monday, December 7, 2009

Snapshot: Moscow on a Monday

Things are actually sort of normal here, Chez Beet. By that I mean everyone who was supposed to went to school/work this morning. And the temperature outside is actually -3C.

Much more what one would expect for Moscow in December, no? None of this +6C rubbish.

I got roped into accompanying Skittles' class on a field trip today. So what follows are some snapshots I took along the way.

But first, for your reading pleasure, I have included a vivid image of "Hell As I See It." Or maybe as I "Feel" it.

Imagine, if you can, that you on your way to the school wearing a pair of tights with a dress. And the tights are, apparently, older than you realized.

As are your undies. Elastically speaking.

So old, in fact, that midway between your front door and the Metro, you realize that the tights are not only sagging, but they are actually sliding down off your body.

Pulling the tired old undies with them.

Your bare behind is al fresco, albeit covered by your dress and coat. But, baby, it's still cold outside!

Now imagine ducking into alleys and trying to PULL UP said undies and tights without flashing Greater Moscow.

Good times.

I'll try to erase the horrific image now undoubtedly searing into your brain, by sharing some slightly more Family Friendly Shots.

I'm not really sure which museum we visited with the class today. My best guess is that it was the Museum of Packaging. Which sort of makes sense because I vaguely recall another mother saying once that her kid's class went to what she thought was a Museum of Labels. It could have been this museum.

There were lots of labels.

It's a very small museum, just one room, really. On my map that block of Novaya ploshad is marked "Polytechnika Museum." Maybe . . .

The kids heard a lot about packaging, however. The history of glass containers, paper, barrels, cardboard.

And we saw some packaging.

Yuri Gagarin on matchboxes, for example.

My Star Dog friends, Strelka and Belka on a tin.

Then kids got to play with all sorts of cute things other kids made out of recyclables. 
I swear, the little guy on the left looks like he has the words E coli on him. 
It can't really say E coli. Can it?

This doll was made out of candy wrappers. Isn't she fabulous?

This fairytale illustration was also made from candy wrappers. 
Note the icon made from an Alenka chocolate bar wrapper.

Here's Alenka again, this time masquerading as a Mexican Madonna.

But enough of the Mystery Museum. Let's go back out and hit the streets, tights and undies still dragging.

The shrubs are all wrapped up for winter now. 
This site is a shady sidewalk cafe during warmer weather.

The Russians are really into the Chinese New Year animals. 
Everywhere you look now you see tigers for sale in anticipation of the upcoming Year of the Tiger.

This is an illustration of how much I confuse the two alphabets now. Recently I have seen a lot of people on the Metro reading a book called Legends of the Arbat. I can actually read that in Cyrillic. The title, that is. Arbat, in Cyrillic, is Арбат. I actually thought, at first, that this was a poster for a movie version of the book. It's not. It's for the movie Avatar.


TWIM said...

Great post, you are so funny. Hope your underpants made it home above your knees.

TRex said...

I thought you were hitting the gym? ; )

TRex said...

I thought you were hitting the gym? ; )

TRex said...


Luna said...

I'd be happy to send you a pair of suspenders. :)

The Expatresse said...

Okay, okay, OKAY! Comment Moderation is OFF.

But any weirdos, and I'm sending them STRAIGHT. TO. YOU. TRex.

TRex said...

Muchas gracias! I need the traffic and I aint proud.

Tina in CT said...

OMG! Too funny! A bit of advice. Wear a pair of tight undies over old tights. I bet you were quite uncomfortable all day with the sagging tights/undies.

Really pretty what they can do with candy wrappers.

valentina said...

Yeah, I love the candy wrapper art and the doggie astronaut tin!

My friend was once giving the plenary speech at a huge conference of business people, (not easily amused...)and the elastic in her half slip snapped and it fell to the floor. Fortunately she was behind a podium so not EVERYONE got to see it...

I used to frequently duck into bathrooms and dark hallways to pull up my tights... eventually I quit wearing them and switched to leggings!

But the chill factor in Moscow would be awful! Quelle horreur! xov

Anonymous said...

That is too funny.
Things like Avatar and Abatap drive me crazy!!!
I do not write in Russian too often and just some time ago wanting to write private message to my husband at work about where I put his soup for lunch, I found out that I could not spell the word soup in Russian. Crossed several spelling and finally put in English.

Tina in CT said...

Sure wish you were going to be around so I could meet you when I'm in Moscow.