HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

You wouldn't think living in Slovakia and Russia would teach me about British culture.

Oh, the wonders of Sky.

Anyhoo . . . what I wanted to say is that I now know all sorts of interesting things about British culture.

Like how they use the word brilliant all the time, sometimes shortening it to, God help us all, brill.

Pants are not to be worn on the street. Well, not without something over them.

Just say the words fanny pack and watch the reaction.

Moreish has nothing to do with the Alhambra.

Fancy dress does not mean black tie optional. (I just learned this the other day.)

Christmas (or Crimbo . . . yes, they say that) brings a WHOLE 'NUTHER realm of cultural differences: the Brits have endless favorite Christmas songs THAT WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF.

All of which receive endless hours of airplay on the video channels.

Yes, I know.

It isn't even Thanksgiving yet.

After you listen to these Classic Christmas Favorites (should that be Favourites?), you'll wish you hadn't. Because you won't be able to stop humming them. And some of them are JUST AWFUL. Or weird. Or both.

You have been warned.

I'll start with one you might know. It's even in HD for your viewing pleasure.



I kind of like this next song. Well, I did the first one hundred times I heard it.



We always thought this was just the Tesco theme music. Guess not.



I'm really sorry about this next one.I had never heard of this band until I read Touching the Void. One of the guys talks about how he has a Boney M song stuck in his head the whole time, and he can't believe he's going to FREAKING DIE with a Boney M song stuck in his head. I think having this song stuck in my head makes me want to kill myself. That's what I think.

But if you stick it out until the end, all FIVE minutes and THIRTY-NINE seconds, you get a surprise.



I love Paul McCartney. Really, I do. But honestly, I will hum this song for the next FOUR weeks and hate him the entire time. And now you will too. Heh heh.



This one isn't so bad.



This is pretty, but sort of melancholy.



They really do say Happy Christmas instead of Merry Christmas.



But our VERY favorite Weird British Christmas Classic here Chez Beet, is this little number. It is disturbing on so many levels.



Kind of makes that American tradition, the annual Day-After-Thanksgiving-Shopping-Hell known as Black Friday or, say, having your teeth drilled, pleasant in comparison now, doesn't it?