tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post7088777483704923073..comments2023-06-12T16:10:50.655+02:00Comments on The Beet Goes On: Unsolicited Advice for Accompanying SpousesThe Expatressehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00127602680470789727noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-46833046167777272742009-10-18T03:55:47.664+03:002009-10-18T03:55:47.664+03:00Louis Vuitton,LV Luggage,LV Wallets,LV Agendas,LV ...<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/louis-vuitton-c-6.html" rel="nofollow">Louis Vuitton</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-luggage-c-46.html" rel="nofollow">LV Luggage</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-wallets-c-47.html" rel="nofollow">LV Wallets</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-agendas-c-76.html" rel="nofollow">LV Agendas</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-belts-c-105.html" rel="nofollow">LV Belts</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-shoes-c-29.html" rel="nofollow">LV Shoes</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/lv-accessories-c-79.html" rel="nofollow">LV Accessories</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/gucci-c-40.html" rel="nofollow">Gucci</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/gucci-wallets-c-41.html" rel="nofollow">Gucci Wallets</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/gucci-shoes-c-42.html" rel="nofollow">Gucci Shoes</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/marc-jacobs-c-92.html" rel="nofollow">Marc Jacobs handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/marni-c-93.html" rel="nofollow">Marni handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/miu-miu-c-94.html" rel="nofollow">Miu Miu handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/mulberry-c-95.html" rel="nofollow">Mulberry handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/prada-c-96.html" rel="nofollow">Prada handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/thomaswylde-c-97.html" rel="nofollow">Thomaswylde handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/tod-c-98.html" rel="nofollow">TOD handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/bottega-veneta-c-99.html" rel="nofollow">Bottega Veneta handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/dg-c-100.html" rel="nofollow">D&G handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/dior-c-101.html" rel="nofollow">Dior handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/ysl-c-102.html" rel="nofollow">YSL handbags</a>,<a href="http://www.shoppingbags1.com/coach-c-103.html" rel="nofollow">Coach handbags</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-35494973271236602792009-10-05T12:38:47.234+03:002009-10-05T12:38:47.234+03:00nice advice. i have already had too many of these...nice advice. i have already had too many of these days. we are in the beginning of a new assignment, so your words are extremely timely. i'm glad i stumbled upon your blog a few weeks ago!varkenmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06774587542888705873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-67724187775064461462009-10-02T21:51:52.082+03:002009-10-02T21:51:52.082+03:00need I say, this is a masterpiece, one of your bes...need I say, this is a masterpiece, one of your best ones? and I really, really enjoyed reading all the comments. I don't know who all the nicks cover, but I have a community. Thanks girlsAndrea https://www.blogger.com/profile/00730557217264985056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-86001773224302375812009-10-02T04:47:05.336+03:002009-10-02T04:47:05.336+03:00Beets,
where were you 30 years ago. I needed your ...Beets,<br />where were you 30 years ago. I needed your advise so much then.<br />You can not help smashing things ones in a while, I ones tossed the whole table setting into the brick wall to prove my point(lucky for me, we had dinner on the back deck). The only thing it proved, that thing do break when you throw them into the brick wall. I still have one of Dansk plastic dishes with a broken handle. Certainly a keeper. <br />Katbat,<br />the card in your pocket is dangerous thing, and mostly dangerous for you. I use to have them in my pocket too. Got rid of most of them over the years. Makes soul lighter.<br />Oh Tina, I know how you feel, but we did raise our children, did we not? <br />Expat Moms, you are such a great and courageous bunch. <br />Best of luck. Ni pucha, ni pera! <br />OlgaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-13313271103494804572009-10-02T04:31:59.111+03:002009-10-02T04:31:59.111+03:00btw, thank you for this post. it reminds me that i...btw, thank you for this post. it reminds me that i certainly am not the isolated case.The Flip Side. . .Or Maybe Nothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04540731862494735477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-63132466913683175002009-10-02T04:29:28.477+03:002009-10-02T04:29:28.477+03:00I remember a bad day. Slumped over the dining tabl...I remember a bad day. Slumped over the dining table bawling. complete with snot running down my nose. Movers milling about trying to pretend hysterical lady isn't in the room. Significant Other looking clueless while trying to be helpful (in the most annoying way) between taking calls on his mobile phone...I know it's going to happen again with this move. Maybe even worst. Moscow will be cold and dark. The sun pretty much shines all the time here...Speaking of which, are there service flats there? The realtor suggested a short term lease. But that's not what i am after.The Flip Side. . .Or Maybe Nothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04540731862494735477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-19107133351140757322009-10-02T03:37:08.447+03:002009-10-02T03:37:08.447+03:00What about us poor grandparents back here in the U...What about us poor grandparents back here in the US that have had our children and grandchildren move so far away from us? It SUCKS BIG TIME and I HATE IT!Tina in CThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01389744278715174313noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-602094526446115182009-10-01T19:26:49.665+03:002009-10-01T19:26:49.665+03:00Keep those cards close to your chest Kat!! As with...Keep those cards close to your chest Kat!! As with everything, there are some things you dont bring up to the spouse....to close to their hearts.<br />BTW, Katherine is very lucky to have found you Expat. You all need to stick together:)<br />The long hard winter is fast approaching!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08006604809385748459noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-10342962706660259332009-10-01T19:06:05.132+03:002009-10-01T19:06:05.132+03:00Aw, sweetie. Big hug.Aw, sweetie. Big hug.The Expatressehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127602680470789727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-26337370514903211412009-10-01T19:00:09.370+03:002009-10-01T19:00:09.370+03:00agreed - I once, after a bad day, slammed a cup on...agreed - I once, after a bad day, slammed a cup on the counter - looked at him and said "this sucks! life here sucks!" (I know - real mature!) - Leo looked sooo hurt - like I slapped him - he looked at me and quietly said "dont say that!" he took it so personally - I knew then, not something to bring up with him. It was a huge decision and I know a heavy load he carries bringing us here. He KNOWs it is hard for me - he knows it is hard for the kids -this card I keep in my pocket and dont plan on pulling it out (I always have the "your mom lived with us for 3 years" if I need some leverage anyway - always gotta have something when arguing with a lawyer!) :-)katbathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16449056908312825422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-41811183897873169362009-10-01T14:51:53.346+03:002009-10-01T14:51:53.346+03:00Oh, that is so true about men wanting to fix thing...Oh, that is so true about men wanting to fix things. Sometimes there's nothing to be done. <br /><br />I also need to add that The Spouse is extremely talented in foreign languages. I am not. I think he was always just ever so slightly cranky about helping me get things done . . . since he deemed me a smart girl . . . I could just learn the languages, too, right? That all stopped when I said one day, "Honey, if you were a world class, concert-level violinist, would you expect me to be one, too? Can't I enjoy the music without having to play at your level?" THAT finally did it. <br /><br />I also believe that being the accompanying or tag-along spouse is totally different than being Expat With a Job. I've been both. He has not. You can't understand it completely if you haven't done it. And it only ends in arguments when we try to discuss it. This is one topic I definately reserve for my girlfriends.The Expatressehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127602680470789727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-41241665729219009312009-10-01T14:46:13.285+03:002009-10-01T14:46:13.285+03:00Now this is good advice! For every day use, I mig...Now this is good advice! For every day use, I might add. Husbands tend to want to *fix* things and they can't always. Sometimes we all just need to vent.<br /><br />BTW, I am sending you a friend request on Facebook!Kugohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18319146174220316715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-83828037653481294192009-10-01T11:35:42.158+03:002009-10-01T11:35:42.158+03:00MM: Glad you did. I think it helps people to see t...MM: Glad you did. I think it helps people to see these shared experiences . . . what is the same and what is not. <br /><br />Also very glad to hear there are pros in town who can help. I did not know that, and sometimes people ask me about this stuff. (I'm always the Den Mother . . . which I like, but I have to keep up with the resources out there.)The Expatressehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00127602680470789727noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-49679822650981660892009-10-01T11:32:08.228+03:002009-10-01T11:32:08.228+03:00sorry, couldn"t log in but see you on Saturda...sorry, couldn"t log in but see you on SaturdayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-49520541044611168662009-10-01T11:31:15.857+03:002009-10-01T11:31:15.857+03:00don"t I just love you?don"t I just love you?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-11546340722593814082009-10-01T11:08:58.490+03:002009-10-01T11:08:58.490+03:00Holy moly! Didn't mean to write an epic novel!...Holy moly! Didn't mean to write an epic novel!MoscowMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071640212219249372noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5105130528225923495.post-61079509787256267722009-10-01T11:07:31.371+03:002009-10-01T11:07:31.371+03:00Our situations were so different coming here... I ...Our situations were so different coming here... I did NOT give my stamp of approval to moving here and was coerced into it, albeit my husband was compelled to make some kind of massive change because of the economy as it was after 9/11 in his specific field... <br /><br />I was so angry that I'd been brought here, when I *KNEW* it would be hard, and w/two kids to boot... It was then SO MUCH HARDER than I could ever have imagined... Our standard of living fell so drastically that first year... <br /><br />I *wanted* him to feel like crap for having made me go through this, when I'd warned it would be too hard (having lived in Russia before and somewhat having a clue about what it would mean to move here with two very small kids)... And when he was never, ever around b/c the new job was so demanding... His needs were magically taken care of--meals cooked, groceries appeared, house cleaned, laundry done--all while I had no car, none of my old appliances, no dryer to help me in doing so...<br /><br />Let's just say it's a good thing I wasn't blogging those first two years here. Life was a real mess. It took a long time to move beyond that toxic period.<br /><br />But for all those who move here as a team, I can agree with what you say--with a caveat. I think that spouses do need to be aware of what this new move means for the family, and not just on occasion. Knowing about it, and being ambushed by the raw emotion, however, are two different things. There's a big difference between blaming and sharing, trying to problem solve as a team.<br /><br />Chris's knowing about it, about how friggin' hard my daily reality on my own with the girls was, lead us to commit to SOMEWAY, ANYWAY, finding the non-existent spare cash to get me some help... And to replace some of those appliances that don't work in Russia... And to get a dryer... And to eventually get a car after two years. It also then helped us to realize that it was worth it to join a gym as a family. <br /><br />I would also add that there are a few really good counselors in Moscow who specialize in helping expats (both the employed and trailers) to adjusting to life here. There are even a few who specialize in helping children.MoscowMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05071640212219249372noreply@blogger.com